This is something I have literally had to deal with my whole entire life. I am just naturally a people pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and do kumbyah together walking through a field of daisies. But… that’s not reality…
Reality is that people are going to let you down. They are going to hurt you. They are going to be super unapologetic about hurting you. They will talk crap with you then turn around and talk crap about you. They will step on you to get what they need and won’t think twice about it. They will throw your name in the dirt just so they can get ahead. They will do all of that while smiling those 32 pearly whites in your face.
So I gathered a list of things to do in order to learn how to stop giving a flip.
- You have to be able to differentiate who is for you and who’s a facade. Crazy thing is my mom always told me that you will meet people who are going to act like they are for you but are truly plotting behind the scenes. That’s when your “spidey senses” need to kick in and you need to be able to decipher real from fake. You can do this by really just opening your ears. I mean really LISTEN. People tell you who they really are when you LISTEN to them. That’s the biggest downfall to all of us people pleasers out there. We formulate these “perfect” individuals in our mines and they never do any wrong. That’s why we are so surprised and hurt when they do the asinine things they do.
- Be okay with being alone. I am still working on this myself. I always grew up having a lot of friends and family so I didn’t really know how to be alone. I think when you are okay with being alone, you are able to start caring less. You are able to be comfortable in your own skin without a group around to hype you up. BE YOUR OWN HYPE MAN!
- Love yourself. You have to be able to put yourself first. I know that is easier said than done but you have to be able to find out what makes you, you. You have to find out what you love. Tap into your dreams and goals. This is when not caring starts really happening. You have this freedom of choice and you are able to use it when you are thinking about yourself first (obviously this is only to an extent.)
- Learn how to build a bridge and get over it. Once you are over it, light a match, turn around and burn it. A lot of us carry a lot of baggage from the past that ends up weighing us down. It alters your mind and it ultimately takes away your power. You have the power!
- Leave it at the door. Do not bring the drama inside your happy place or your place of comfort. When you allow those negative things inside your happy place you opening the door to more negativity. Literally take a deep breath and leave it at your front door. Sometimes if something is bothering me, I will stay in my parked car outside my place and let it blow over so I don’t bring that into my home. It literally helps me in not caring.
- Do more things on your own! I know that this really ties in with being okay with being alone but really start doing things on your own. Stop waiting for people to jump on your train. If you want to go to the beach and no one else wants to go, GO! Do not let people take experiences away from you. If you want to travel and no one can go with you, still go!!! You need to literally take ownership of your life and start living for you! Stop waiting for someone to be able to cosign on your life. You might end up waiting your whole life and then who’s to blame?
- Let bad people go. Do not hold on to them with hopes that they are going to change. Do not hold on to them trying to hold on to the people that they used to be. Just let go! The moment that you finally let go, you will feel so free emotionally and physically.
I don’t have all the answers. I am still learning as the days go on. As I learn, I am making it my mission to tell other people my story and my experiences in order to grow.
Leave me a comment and let me know what you would like to see me write about next. Tell me how this makes you feel. Give me and everyone else who may read this how you learned to stop caring. It literally makes me so happy to see you all reading my little blog.
LOVE THEM, LOVE HER, LOVE HIM, LOVE YOU, LOVE ME