Tag Archive | being you

How to truly love yourself…

Hello lovelies,

I want to let you in on a little secret but promise you won’t tell anyone. I LOVE YOU!

Okay now that that’s all said and done, I can let you all in on a really dark time in my life. For those who know me, know that I live a life where I am all about exuding confidence and self love but I was not always like that. For those who truly know me, behind my smile was a truly lost soul and an extremely depressed person.

If it wasn’t my body that I wanted to contour and shape into some oddity that could never truly be achieved, it was my skin which I felt like was not light enough to be “beautiful” or not dark enough to be the “model” I wanted to be. (Now, standing at 5’1.75″ there is no way I could have made it.)

stop it

I think most people around me thought that I was just as confident (thanks dance and colorguard) as can be. I felt as if I wasn’t enough and at that time I wasn’t in the most loving relationship where I actually felt good enough.

Some people like to put blame on their parents but my parents told me they loved me and  how beautiful I was. It really just boiled down to how I felt about myself. The world can tell you how gorgeous you are but if you don’t think that about yourself none of that matters.

After getting out of that relationship, I began to really understand how to TRULY LOVE myself. Not just the love where you think you are cute when you wear a certain shirt but the love where you can look in the mirror and be like *excuse my french but* DAAAAAMN Daniel. When I got on that floor, I loved myself. When I got on that stage, I loved myself. For that split second, I felt like the world around me saw my beauty through my movement and through my heart.

love

To begin to love yourself, you must first start from within.

You have to find out what makes you feel the best. Whether it’s dancing in your room to loud music or dancing on a stage. Whether it’s singing your lungs out in the car or beating the heck out of your face (beating=slaying your face for the world to see) or being bare faced. Whatever makes you feel like the best YOU is the first step to love.

Next is to, center yourself around people who love you for you and have positive attitude.

A lot of the times, when you are having a hard time loving yourself it is due to the company you keep. When someone is always downing you, you are more prone to feeling bad about yourself. Be around people who love that you snort when you laugh or that you sing like a dying alpaca. Be around people that support you in all of your endeavors but aren’t afraid to assist you when you are down.

Finally, give out love.

The best way to love yourself is to be a lovely person. Be someone that you would want to be loved by. Be that person who shares kind words with their friends and co-workers. When people around you feel the love in the air, it’s catching. You have to feel love. Have you ever tried to hold in laughter, when the whole room is laughing? You remember how hard that is. You remember that it takes you 5 seconds and you are bursting out laughing as well. That’s how love works.  

I don’t have all the answers to life. Heck, I’m not even a quarter the way done living mine. I can only just share with you what I’ve learned so far. Love yourself so then you can easily point out the “fugazi love” that people show. Love yourself so that you can be the best you. Love yourself because no one can love you better than you (minus God, hallleyur.) Love yourself because life is no fun being angry, mean, and bitter.

I am still a work in progress in truly loving myself. I have my good days. I have my bad days but at the end of the day, I look over and tell S that I love him and I whisper to myself that I love me.

Thank you for taking out some time to read my blog. Stay tuned and as always…

Love them, love her, love him, love you, love me

Love Karaa

Advertisements

How to be a real and true friend…

I’m not trying to be shady but (insert palm tree here) many of us need a re-up on knowing how to be a real and true friend. Many of us are real friends. Many of us are true friends. But not many of us are both.

Let’s start out with Mr. Webster’s take on what a friend is so we can learn how to be a friend:

Definition of friend

  1. 1:  a person who has a strong liking for and trust in another person

  2. 2:  a person who is not an enemy <friend or foe>

  3. 3:  a person who helps or supports something <She was a friend to environmental causes.>

In this definition, many key words appear such as trust, helps, liking, and supports.
Now these words aren’t in the definition for poops and giggles, these are in there because this what a friend is.
A person that you do not trust is NOT your friend. That person is also not your boyfriend or girlfriend. The “friend” portion of the word must be dropped because we have to trust in them in order for them to earn that portion. They now just become a BOY and GIRL. If I can’t trust you enough to have a conversation without you running off to tell her, him and all of them, we are not friends. We are just acquaintances or just mere “hi and byes.” Now don’t get me wrong just because someone is your friend, that doesn’t mean you just trust them with your first-born child. You need to have enough common sense and intuition to learn what level of trust to give someone and if you lack any of those two above call 1-800-JESUS. He will always answer. Won’t he do it?
The next word is “help.”A friend is going to help you in your time of need with whatever he or she has to give. That doesn’t mean that if you are always going somewhere broke, your friend should always pick up your tab. It means that one day you might just buy lunch when she is low on money for the week. Then when she is back up and you are low, she get’s you. Help is not always monetary! I REPEAT, helping someone doesn’t always have to be a monetary thing. Most of the time, helping should be just sharing some words of encouragement and some wanted advice. Yes, I put wanted advice but true friends will sometimes give you unwanted advice that you truly need to hear to wake you up from the cloud of marshmallow peeps we daydream on.
The word “like” is self-explanatory for the most part.
Support is the biggest thing friends give one another. Support to do the unexpected and the risky things we dream of in the back of our heads if only Grandma wouldn’t judge you haha! Support to be yourself. Support to make dumb mistakes sometimes. Support to never let you make those dumb mistakes again. Support to pick you up when you are weak. Support to use each other back to back to lift each other up. Support to follow your dreams. If someone isn’t supporting you without good reason (many times we don’t see it as a good reason) , they are doing nothing but adding extra weight.
Now that we know what a friend is and what he or she is supposed to do, we need to make sure that we are doing these things ourselves. Before we are able to make friends, we have to make sure we can hold ourselves to the standards we plan on holding them to.
Thank you all so much for all of the genuine support I have received after my first blog post! Stay tuned and as always…

Love them, love her, love him, love you, love me

Love Karaa

The Crap No One Likes to Talk About…

I am beyond super excited to finally start the blog that I have been dreaming about. Welcome!!!

Now, I’m just going to cut to the chase…

I am your best friend. When I mean your best friend, I mean the one you always dreamed of but never had for whatever reason. The Beyonce to your Kelly, the Batman to your Robin, the Tina Fey to your Amy Poehler, the Jay to your Silent Bob, the Garth to your Wayne….that’s me!

Now let’s really get to the chase…

Situation: Talking to a friend about clothes and she said she had some but wasn’t sure if I would like them because they were “white girl clothes.” First off, I took one of those deep, saving your life type breaths because I didn’t understand what the heck she meant by white girl clothes and I didn’t want to go slap off in a rant. As far as I knew, clothes were clothes. This situation reminded me of the crap I have heard all of my life. I am supposedly not “black” enough to be black and not “white” enough to be white. This seems to be the case for any person of color, tint, or hue who doesn’t speak with slang all the time and has education but still likes great music (shoutout to Mom for blasting GREAT music early in the morning everyday and singing in the car…she is the real MVP.) Although, this situation was really small, it shows me that we are still not there yet in the world. But that’s not what this blog is about now is it?

Next… this election. Now sweetie, we could go on and on about the craziness that is going on in our country but there is not enough time in the day or in the world so we will just sum it up for you. The Republican Party candidates= H-E- double hockey sticks NOOOO! The Democratic Party candidates= see above. I just wish there was an undo button for this election. Can we undo all of the candidates and choose completely new ones?!?!? I see at least one good platform point in each person’s campaign but no one stands out to me as being the person I want to have the highest position in this country. What makes it more sad is that this will be my first year to vote like many others!

Finally…being you. I absolutely hate that we, as people, can’t be real with one another. I rather someone come out to me and tell me the truth than to lie to me about who they are. The truth always comes out either through your actions or through some slick words that fall out of the side of your mouth. Either way, the real you will be revealed. Yes, it’s not okay in all settings to be a racist but I rather know you are a racist than for me to be friends with you and you and your family won’t even allow me in your home. *cough cough*  I rather know you for all that you are. I rather be real with you than for me to be fake.

I hope I didn’t scare you off by this long post but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I could finally release! Stay tuned…

Love them, love her, love him, love you, love me

Love Karaa