Tag Archive | relationships

How to truly love yourself…

Hello lovelies,

I want to let you in on a little secret but promise you won’t tell anyone. I LOVE YOU!

Okay now that that’s all said and done, I can let you all in on a really dark time in my life. For those who know me, know that I live a life where I am all about exuding confidence and self love but I was not always like that. For those who truly know me, behind my smile was a truly lost soul and an extremely depressed person.

If it wasn’t my body that I wanted to contour and shape into some oddity that could never truly be achieved, it was my skin which I felt like was not light enough to be “beautiful” or not dark enough to be the “model” I wanted to be. (Now, standing at 5’1.75″ there is no way I could have made it.)

stop it

I think most people around me thought that I was just as confident (thanks dance and colorguard) as can be. I felt as if I wasn’t enough and at that time I wasn’t in the most loving relationship where I actually felt good enough.

Some people like to put blame on their parents but my parents told me they loved me and  how beautiful I was. It really just boiled down to how I felt about myself. The world can tell you how gorgeous you are but if you don’t think that about yourself none of that matters.

After getting out of that relationship, I began to really understand how to TRULY LOVE myself. Not just the love where you think you are cute when you wear a certain shirt but the love where you can look in the mirror and be like *excuse my french but* DAAAAAMN Daniel. When I got on that floor, I loved myself. When I got on that stage, I loved myself. For that split second, I felt like the world around me saw my beauty through my movement and through my heart.

love

To begin to love yourself, you must first start from within.

You have to find out what makes you feel the best. Whether it’s dancing in your room to loud music or dancing on a stage. Whether it’s singing your lungs out in the car or beating the heck out of your face (beating=slaying your face for the world to see) or being bare faced. Whatever makes you feel like the best YOU is the first step to love.

Next is to, center yourself around people who love you for you and have positive attitude.

A lot of the times, when you are having a hard time loving yourself it is due to the company you keep. When someone is always downing you, you are more prone to feeling bad about yourself. Be around people who love that you snort when you laugh or that you sing like a dying alpaca. Be around people that support you in all of your endeavors but aren’t afraid to assist you when you are down.

Finally, give out love.

The best way to love yourself is to be a lovely person. Be someone that you would want to be loved by. Be that person who shares kind words with their friends and co-workers. When people around you feel the love in the air, it’s catching. You have to feel love. Have you ever tried to hold in laughter, when the whole room is laughing? You remember how hard that is. You remember that it takes you 5 seconds and you are bursting out laughing as well. That’s how love works.  

I don’t have all the answers to life. Heck, I’m not even a quarter the way done living mine. I can only just share with you what I’ve learned so far. Love yourself so then you can easily point out the “fugazi love” that people show. Love yourself so that you can be the best you. Love yourself because no one can love you better than you (minus God, hallleyur.) Love yourself because life is no fun being angry, mean, and bitter.

I am still a work in progress in truly loving myself. I have my good days. I have my bad days but at the end of the day, I look over and tell S that I love him and I whisper to myself that I love me.

Thank you for taking out some time to read my blog. Stay tuned and as always…

Love them, love her, love him, love you, love me

Love Karaa

Love Without Color

Hey lovelies!

I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged but it’s my last month of the semester and stuff is getting really real… RIP GPA.

Let’s cut to the chase…

I get a lot of questions about why do I choose to be in a relationship with a white man. In all honesty, I really didn’t even think about Skylar’s skin color when I got with him. At first, I didn’t even know we would end up where we are today. (That story is for another time.) I just was in a state of being open to any other “love” than what I was receiving in my past relationships.

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My parents never told me that I couldn’t be with someone of my skin color or race. They had always been adamant about them being happy with whomever I am with as long as they treated me right and loved me. Beyond that, I had some people who I loved who weren’t against it but were definitely not “head over heels” in love with the idea.

I have received backlash from many of my peers due to my relationship some from my own community. Specifically some men who believe that I am missing out on something because I am with Skylar. Some women say that they are jealous or want an interracial relationship because they see our relationship.

Let’s stop at that note… 

What in the actual heck?!?!? I never sought out an interracial relationship. I always loved people for who they were. It just so happens that Skylar is white and that makes us fall into this “interracial couple” category. I am just in a relationship, not an interracial relationship, not a bwwm relationship, not a mixed couple. Just your ordinary relationship. Our relationship has its ups and downs. It’s nothing different from any other relationship that anyone else could have.

If it were not him, I would be with someone else rather they be black, white, hispanic, or any other person. First of all, if you can deal with me then you are already one step ahead of the game.

Love is love. Love has no color. I fell in love with Skylar because of his personality not because of the color of my skin. If you love someone, don’t let the color of your skin stop you from pursuing them. Love comes in different shapes and sizes.

In high school, I had quite a few friends who parents were completely against them dating someone who wasn’t white. Their excuse was because “we didn’t raise them like that” or “we just rather them be with someone like us.” I honestly would rather those parents to shut the heck up and let their children live! That’s not an excuse! If the right person was to come by and love your child, your brother, or your sister, you would be totally against it??? Color doesn’t tell your story. Color doesn’t decide whether or not you are a good person. Color doesn’t protect your child from hurt or pain. Color is just merely that…

just color.

Let’s talk about it.

Would you date someone that didn’t look like you? Why do you feel that some parents are so against it? Comment below. Discuss it with your family and friends.

Thank you for taking out some time to read my blog. Stay tuned and as always…

Love them, love her, love him, love you, love me

Love Karaa